Well this mommy had one rough day yesterday. It was Tuckers first day of daycare. I have been EXTREMELY lucky so far that I have been able to bring him to work with me until now. Andy's cousin's wife had previously kept children at her house but then decided to get another job. Well after Tucker was born she decided to go back to keeping kids again but she wasnt starting back until March 7th, which was yesterday.
I have been dreading this day for a long time. I am so attached to my little man I just couldnt imagine going through the day without seeing him. I really trust Leigh Anne who is watching him but I just had all of these crazy thoughts going through my head that he would be crying and she couldnt get him to stop the same way I do. I mean he has also gotten pretty spoiled to mommy as well!
Sunday night on our drive home from town T was falling asleep in the backseat and I was playing with his hair and he just started holding my hand. Well I just starting crying. How crazy am I! I just kept thinking I am sending him off to some stranger and he will miss me (like he would probably even know the difference!). I felt so horrible for taking him to daycare.
Well I finally calmed down but then yesterday morning, his first day, was even worse! Just getting his stuff together to take I was getting teary eyed. I made Andy go with me to drop him off because I didnt even know if I could get out the door. Well we got there and he was all smiles. There were 3 little toddler there and he was the only baby and he was loving all of the attention he was getting. I was about to lose it trying to explain to her everything in his bag and when he eats. I forgot to even leave my phone numbers with her in case she needed me!
As soon as we walked out the door I completely lost it. I could barely breathe I was so hysterical! I cried the whole 20 minutes to work and barely pulled it together to walk in the door. Then in all of my madness I thought I am crazy. I should be thankful that I know the person watching him and it is family that will take great care of him. I could have had to drop him off at a normal daycare with 15 babies crying with runny noses! Then I thought about someone I know who lost their baby a couple days after birth. I'm sure they would be so happy as to have the chance to take their child to daycare. Then I calmed down a little bit.
I talked to Leigh Anne a little while later and she said he had talked and played so hard with the other little kids that he could barely hold his eyes open and was taking a nap. That made me feel much better that she had gotten him to sleep with no problems. Of course I only worked half a day yesterday and went to pick him up around 1:30. What was he doing you ask?? He was asleep on the couch! I cant even get him to sleep laying on the couch at our house!
Why is it so horrible leaving your child for the first time at day care? I just kept thinking will he love me as much as he does now because he will be getting use to someone else. Will he be ok. Will he cry all day. Will he cause her problems. After picking him up and seeing that he was perfectly fine made me feel so much better. I know it will be good for both of us to spend a little bit of time apart and for him to get exposure to other kids, its still just so hard!
Today is day 2 of daycare and there have been no tears shed yet!